I Won't Give Up
by TheAuroraPena
Summary: it is Carlos and James one year anniversary... terrible summary but the story is much better :


I Won't Give Up

(Carlos POV)

He is perfect I thought to myself as I looked into his gorgeous hazel eyes. It's been a year today since I've been with him. I love that he is not like any other boyfriend that tries to make this day special by buying me presents or taking me out to eat somewhere expensive. No, he brought me to a beautiful meadow fill with the most wonderful flowers, he knows that we didn't need anything big to make this day special we just need each other. I prefer watching the stars with him than anything else in the world. Like he always said we have to enjoy the little things in life.

"See that star right there?" James said pointing at the night sky.

"Which one?" I asked.

"The one left to the Big Dipper."

I nodded. For some reason that star seemed like it was brighter than the rest. "What about it?" I asked.

"That's our star."

"What do you mean?" I asked with confusion.

"It's a present." He said handing me a paper. The paper sated that the star belonged to Carlos Garcia and James Diamond.

"I thought we agreed in not buying presents for each other."

"I didn't buy you anything Kendall and Logan did. Logan said that if they bought us anything materialistic that we either weren't gonna use it or lose it. So he said that he would give us something that we could enjoy even when we get old."

"I love those two."

"Me too I think they are the second cutes couple."

"Who's the first?"

"Well we are, love."

I keep looking at the star and admired it. It's a star just for me and James "James?"

"Yes love."

"What's it called?"

"It's called Our Love. They let me pick the name."

"Why?" I asked him. That is a weird name for a star usually it's somebody's name.

"Cause it's a something to represent our love. If we ever get in a fight or we are mad at each other, we could just look at the sky and be reminded that we love each other and we will never stop loving each other. We will overcome anything. And that as long as the star is shining our love is still there."

"I love you." I whispered to him.

"I love you too." He whispered back to me, and then he leaned in to me give me a soft kiss on the lips. When our lips separated I leaned in to rest my head on his chest and he immediately put his arms around me. As we looked at our star I started humming my favorite song 'I Won't Give up' by Jason Marz. When I started humming James held me tighter and started singing.

"_**When I look into your eyes **_

_**It's like watching the night sky**_

_**Or a beautiful sunrise**_

_**There's so much they hold"**_

"I'm never going to let you go." He said to me and a soft voice.

"I never want you to let me go. But you have to it's getting late and I don't want mama Knight to get mad at us like last time"

"Okay love." He said as he kissed me in my cheek and stood me up.

We walked to his motorcycle hand and hand. I know a motorcycle is dangerous but there is something that I love about it. It's probably how close I can be too him I love just having my arm around him. He got on first and he put on his helmet before he helped me get on.

"Hold on tight to me." He said with a voice full of adrenaline. He always was like that when he was on his bike.

"Always do." I said as he started up the bike. I let out a small yelp as we started to move he chuckled when he heard me, I always did that I didn't matter if I had been on his bike a thousand times. As we started to accelerate I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could and leaned my head so I could rest it on his back. I closed my eyes and let the cool night wind hit my face.

"You wanna go a bit faster." He yelled.

"Yes!" I screamed back. I loved when he went faster it gave me a reason to hold on tighter to him. He sped up a bit more. As held him tighter I felt us going faster and I smiled as the cold wind hit my face. When I felt that my face was getting too cold I knew it was time to slowdown.

"Babe can you please slowdown." I said.

"Yeah love." He said with hesitation, he probably loved the speed. "Carlos can you please take my helmet of first it's bothering me."

"What am I going to do with it? Just keep it on." I told him.

"You can put it on. If you want me to slow down you have to take it off and wear it."

I pouted but I'm sure he didn't even notice. I held on with one hand to James and with the other I managed to get the helmet off of him. I put in on and I placed my arms around him again. I took me a while to realize that we haven't slowed down. This boy loves the speed too much.

"James I thought you were gonna slow down."

"Carlos?"

"What?" I said in a half mad half childlike voice.

"I love you."

The impact was hard I didn't really notice we had crashed until I felt the pain on my back and I saw James lying next to me. His face was all covered in blood but his eyes still has a certain spark to them that made me snap out of my thoughts. I tried to talk but all that came out was a whimper. After that the tears just started flowing out. James looked at me with pain in his eyes and gave me a small smile. He managed to reach his hand out to me. He looked in so much pain and there wasn't I could do to help him. All I could do was to connect our hands together. We laid for what seemed to be an eternity.

"Carlos there's Our Love."

I looked up and saw that the star was still shining brighter that the others.

"I love you too." I said remembering what he told me before this happened. I looked once more into his eyes before everything went black.

* * *

When I woke up everything seemed blurry. When I finally could see straight I saw Logan and Kendall in a couch sleeping. I took me a moment to figure out that I was in a hospital room. I tried to sit up and pain shot through my whole body I let out a yelp that's when Logan woke up.

"Carlos are you okay. Stop trying to get up you have three broken bones, and a concussion." Logan said as he helped me to lay down again. "Kendall, wake up!" Kendall woke up and gave me a sad smile.

"W-Where's James?" They both had fear in their eyes when I asked them that.

"I think I'm going to get Ms. Knight." Logan said as he left the room.

"Kendall, where's James?" He didn't say anything just stood there and stared at me with a blank look. "Kendall! Where's James?" I screamed at me. At that time mama Knight walked into the room.

"Hi honey how are you feeling?" She asked me.

"Where's James." I asked with a whimper.

She let out tears fall from her face but not any sobs. "Honey, James…"

"Please don't tell me his in a coma." I interrupted her.

"No sweetie." She said more tears.

"Then where is he?"

"Honey I want you to brace yourself for what I'm about to tell you. He had a blow to the head that made him lose a lot of blood and they didn't get to the hospital fast enough to give him new blood." I could believe what she was telling me she can't be telling me the truth. "He died a few minutes after the impact."

"No shut up! You're telling me lies he is not dead he is perfectly fine he has to be."

"I'm sorry honey." When I look all around the room everybody was crying everybody that is except me.

"How the hell did this happen? That was supposed to be a day to celebrate."

"According to the police the breaks weren't working. You guys were going too fast. They said that he probably James knew before the impact that the breaks didn't work."

"Why didn't I die I'm much weaker than him why didn't I die?"

"You wear wearing a helmet." Kendall said.

That's when it all hit me.

"Get out." I demanded.

"Carlos…"Logan started before I interrupted.

"Get out I want to be alone." They all did what I said and left me alone in my room.

This was all my fault. He knew that the breaks didn't work he gave me the stupid helmet, the helmet that saved me. No, James saved me. This is not happening he's the one that supposed to be here not me. This was all my fault if I didn't ask him to go faster.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I screamed as I threw what was closes to me across the room. "THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! HE CAN'T BE DEAD!"

Everybody came in running trying to calm me down. Somehow I got out of my bed and Kendall and Logan had to put me back. A nurse came in and gave me a shot and I fell asleep almost right away.

* * *

It has been exactly a year since the death of James. Today was supposed to be our two year anniversary. So I decided to go to the same place he took me to last year. When I got there I was hesitating if I should get off or not. I knew that I had to. I got off my bike and headed to the meadow. I know I was stupid to buy a motorcycle after what had happened everybody opposed to it but I felt that with the bike I still had a little of James with me. When I got to what use to be a beautiful meadow, I decide to lay down on the same spot where I spent my last moments with James. This place use to be so beautiful now it's all dead weeds. This place died with James. I looked up into the sky and notice that one star was still shining brighter than all the others.

"Cause it's a something to represent our love. If we ever get in a fight or we are mad at each other, we could just look at the sky and be reminded that we love each other and we will never stop loving each other. We will overcome anything. And that as long as the star is shining our love is still there." I remember James said that to me one year ago I could still hear his voice perfectly in my head.

"Our Love is still shining bright, James." I choked out. "You lied to me James. You told me you would never let me go. Why did you have to leave me?" I screamed to the sky with tears in my eyes. This was the first time that I had cried about James's death. I didn't even cry at the funeral, I always felt bad about that I tried to cry but the tears never came out. "I hate you James. I hate you for leaving me alone. I can't live without you; I wake up every morning thinking why did this happen to me. I loved you why did you leave me? You had no right to give your life up for me. You had no right to leave me here alone. You had no right." I was still screaming at the sky. I felt that my eyes were all puffy because of the tears. "I miss you so much my love." I said more calmly I started humming a song that I haven't listed to in a year. And in my head I heard James's voice singing to me.

_**I won't give up on us**_

_**Even if the sky's get rough**_

_**I'm giving you all my love**_

_**I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up…**_

* * *

_**please reviwe :)**_


End file.
